Wedding Etiquette For Groomsmen

What? Groomsmen have to learn about wedding etiquette too? Afraid so, gentlemen; there is more to being a groomsman than just renting a tux and showing up sober on the day of the wedding (though not too much more!). Whether it is your first time being in a wedding or your tenth, these are a few tips to help you get through the whole experience with flying colors.

Much of the etiquette surrounding weddings has to do with comporting oneself with a certain degree of dignity and respect. The behavior required of a groomsman is not necessarily anything difficult, it just may be a bit different to what is expected during a more relaxed social occasion. Most of all, proper etiquette for groomsmen means avoiding anything that will make the bride angry, thereby avoiding getting your friend the groom into big trouble with his fiance!

The role of a groomsman is more limited than that of a bridesmaid, but you will still have a few things to think about pre-wedding. Although not mandatory, it is customary for the best man to organize some sort of bachelor party, and for all of the groomsmen to attend it. If you happen to be the best man, there are a few key things to keep in mind. For one thing, having the bachelor party the night before the wedding is a really, really bad idea. If the groom shows up to the wedding ceremony bleary-eyed and smelling like a bar, there is sure to be trouble with the bride. Speaking of trouble, don't think that it is your mission to get the groom into trouble or try to set him up for "one last fling". In fact, a bachelor party does have to involve bars or strippers at all; one very popular trend is to have a golf outing or a dinner at an expensive restaurant instead of a raunchy party.

Another point of etiquette for groomsmen is that it is merely a matter of common courtesy to make any necessary reservations in a timely manner. In other words, if the groom tells you that you need to have your measurements professionally taken and sent in to the tux place by the 15th, don't wait until the 20th to get around to it. Likewise, be sure to book your travel arrangements and hotel accommodations in plenty of time to avoid any last minute drama (uh, no, the bride will not let you crash on the floor of the honeymoon suite because the hotel is sold out!).

Gifts are an important part of a wedding. As a groomsman, you will generally only be responsible for a wedding gift, unless the couple will be honored at a "Jack and Jill" (in other words, co-ed) shower. Wedding gifts should be high quality and timeless. When in doubt, choose a nice item off of the bridal registry, like a set of crystal barware. Also remember that the bride cares more about the wedding presents than the groom, so while it might be okay to get something that only she cares about (a silver vase), it is definitely a bad idea to get a gift that only the groom will like (a bar mirror with a beer company logo). The gift giving is a two-way street, by the way; groomsmen should expect to receive nice groomsmen gifts to thank them for being in the wedding. Just like wedding gifts, groomsmen gifts are generally items of lasting quality.

Then we get to the social aspect of a wedding. It is a well known fact that one of the best perks to being a groomsman is the chance to meet eligible ladies; however, a key point of etiquette is not to make any moves on a woman at the wedding that is there with someone else. Most importantly of all, avoid breaking the heart of the bride's sister or best friend. Remember groomsman rule number one: anything that a groomsman does wrong will come back around to get the groom in trouble with his bride, and a good friend doesn't get his buddy in trouble.