Marriage remains a sacred institution no matter how aggressive our culture of independence and self-reliance. Protecting your vows after marriage so it can flourish is a must. Time is not on your side. It is predicted that most marriages will succumb to a number of pressures that grow in intensity within a fourteen-month window. Couples who base their relationship on emotion alone are the most vulnerable with love being the most overused and misunderstood word in the English language. Love is a "fruit," layered to enhance its power and force of nature. Marriage will require the couple to examine and adopt a marriage construct that defines it more comprehensively. With each annotation, they move closer to the tools needed to make their love last a lifetime; they will possess signature love notes. Love is multi-dimensional in construct and must be understood as such. Failure to do so makes you a candidate for the fourteen-month window of statistical vulnerability. The further you are from defining love more comprehensively, the more vulnerable you become. Therefore, love must be defined within a broader construct; synthesizing a number of properties to sustain the marriage covenant. Here is a brief overview of that construct.
Psychological - Signature of Influence: A definite, preconceived notion of a personal preference for a mate. Preferences have been influenced by culture and by distinct character tracts that have had a lifetime for maturation. Personal preferences then determine if the relationship journey begins.
Physiological - Signature of Attraction: Human anatomy and its appeal are related to culture and character. Physical attraction is typically what grabs attention first and then there comes a deeper revelation of compatibility. What you look like before the "I do," oftentimes than not, is the lowest threshold of expectation after the vows. Improvement is anticipated.
Technological - Signature of Accountability: Access to conversations to get to know one another better happens multi-contextually to include modern-day online mediums. Understanding the role social networking sites can play in nurturing or disturbing a relationship, needs to be explored and understood with proper boundaries established from the beginning.
Artistical - Signature of Presence: Expressions of caring across the continuum is very important to the relationship. The more ways you can say you care the better. Being creative and imaginative keeps the excitement in marriage and leaves no room for it to become visionless and lifeless. Being intentional about eating together and the types of meals prepared; to the home, you live in and its aesthetic appeal; to plans for date day as well as times when the two of you take individual retreats, are components of the continuum. Couples reflect each other in a number of ways, and the public domain is where the stakes are the highest. By taking pride in your mate and respecting public protocols of behavior; you secure this component for lasting love.
Theological - Signature of Submission: Your faith has everything to do with the longevity of your marriage. It is the evidence you sow into your relationship that you are committed through the challenges of marriage. There can be no difference here. Life is a peculiar journey. There is predictability sewn in every garment; strewn along every path you take but then there are the unpredictable moments and situations that will require you to have faith. Not only is your faith critical here, but your adherence to a set of beliefs; principles of trust and confidence that guide you individually and your marriage collectively. You willingly submit to each other, and the established boundaries are respected. This is the only layer of Signature Love Notes: How to Keep Love for a Life Time, is a construct that calls for mutual agreement on faith. If there is no mutual agreement, it is a deal breaker for getting married. Entering a marriage relationship without a clear understanding of individual theological beliefs accelerates the fourteen-month window.
Economical - Signature of Responsibility: A happy home is built on a lot of things, and finance is a key pillar. Women, in particular, need to feel a sense of security. Living space and finances for daily living require intentional actions to ensure there is always more than enough to meet such needs. Stressors in marriage have a tendency to be the most dominant at this level of the continuum. The financial well-being of a couple has little to do with the extent of the wealth. Couples from all economic backgrounds are faced with money matters that disrupt "happy" homes. Adhering to a principled value of being debt free "before" marriage is a wise consideration. Working to reduce debt is a good start but being debt free coupled with intentional spending habits, is a recipe for basking in love for a lifetime.
Your Signature has identifiable markings that are distinctly distinguishable as yours. Your preferences in a mate and all the signature love notes that make up this thing called "love," observations, and other messaging systems you use to communicate your level of care and concern, must be understood before you say, "I do." Each signature stroke must resonate with the unique tones of your mate.
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