Grooms Behaving Badly

The time surrounding her wedding should be a blissful time for a woman. There is the initial thrill of the engagement, the fun of the parties, and the excitement of planning the wedding. This pre-wedding period can end up being more stressful than joyous, however, when the groom behaves badly.

Misbehaving grooms are nothing new. Probably for as long as brides have been planning weddings, there have been complaints about the groom. The most common issue that arises is the disinterested groom. He thinks that he has done his part by asking the woman to marry him, and the rest is up to her. The disinterested groom intends to show up on the wedding day, and that is as much as he wants to do with the whole wedding thing.

Although most brides are the chief planners, they do still want to feel like the groom has some interest in the details of the wedding. Even if the bride asks her fiance's opinion only to then ignore it, she would still like to maintain the pretense that this wedding is for both of them. Gentlemen, keep in mind that wedding planning is often a highly emotional process for the bride-to-be, and when you do not show even perfunctory interest in your nuptials, the bride is bound to take it as a personal rejection. Napkins, flowers, and cake may not be your thing, but take a moment each day to ask your fiancee how the wedding plans are coming along, and at least pretend to listen to her answer.

Another thing that drives brides crazy is when they cannot get the groom-to-be to handle the few tasks that have been assigned to him. I have seen grooms who are so disinterested in the wedding that they allow the bride to choose both wedding bands without any input from the man. At the minimum, the groom is responsible for purchasing the bride's wedding band, and choosing a gift of special wedding jewelry is also a good idea. Pay attention to what jewelry your fiance already has, and then surprise her with a piece of unique wedding jewelry that suits her style. (It will help to show her that you have been paying better attention than she thought!)

The most egregious complaints about the groom usually relate to the bachelor party. Although it is a time for the groom and his buddies to let loose, the bachelor party cannot be used as an excuse to throw all decency out the window. The worst situations involve a groom who has "one last fling" before the wedding (and possibly no wedding at all, if the bride finds out about it). All I can say is, Ick! - don't even think about it! Less terrible, but still very annoying to the bride, is the groom who shows up to the wedding still hung over from a bachelor party the night before. This situation is very easily prevented by planning the guys' night out several weeks before the wedding day.

Of course, we don't want to give all grooms a bad rap here. There are plenty of guys who are helpful with the wedding planning, respectful of the bride, and sober on the wedding day. Those grooms serve as great role models to their misbehaving friends, who would do well to live by their positive example. Guys, remember the old adage: "Happy wife - happy life"!